I was only two-years-old the first time I stepped onto a basketball court. I left my perch in the bleachers and strode across the sideline in a determined pursuit for the ball. Unfortunately, it was the middle of a Stony Brook School basketball game. Chaos ensued as the referees stopped the game and corralled me before I was trampled. I’d like to say I learned my lesson that day, but a severe overestimation of my own speed led to the interruption of a Stony Brook track meet two years later.
For as long as I can remember I have had a love affair with Stony Brook athletics. My dad began teaching science and coaching basketball at the school in 1986 when I was less than a year old. As a result, the Bears loom large in my childhood memories. I rode the bus with my dad’s basketball team and lived and died with their results. I was a water boy for the boys’ lacrosse team and still haven’t gotten over our sudden death overtime loss in the 1995 Long Island Championship. I chased foul balls for the softball team and errant passes for the soccer team. While most kids my age pretended to be Michael Jordan while shooting baskets in their driveway, I envisioned being my favorite Stony Brook players, drilling big shots in the state championship.
I can truly say that being the athletic director at the Stony Brook School is a dream job for me and I love so much of what I get to do each day. I love seeing my student-athletes compete and am in awe of what they are able to accomplish. Most days I’m still a fan enamored with high school athletics. I love watching a reticent athlete grow through their season or their career and witnessing their confidence ignite. I love watching my athletes celebrate a big win, but I am equally as proud of them when they show grace in defeat. I love watching a team persevere through a trial together and witnessing the camaraderie that is forged. But what I love most about my job goes far beyond the realm of athletics.
As important as sports are, they pale in comparison to what we value most in our lives. For that reason I tell my athletes and coaches that winning is important, but only in the context of striving for a unified goal and using their gifts and talents to the utmost.
The true beauty of athletics is its ability to cultivate virtue and to challenge and stretch individuals as they strive toward their potential. Awards and trophies are tangible evidence of the hard work and dedication they have invested and they are important, but I care more about the people they are becoming through athletics.
One day each of my athletes will put down the ball or hang up the spikes. One day the cheers will only be heard in their memories. What matters most is who they have become through their pursuit of athletic excellence.
If athletics does not make them a better mother, father, spouse, leader, employee, and friend then something was missing from their experience on the field. What I love most about my job is helping my student-athletes strive to be the best they can be and in doing so, whether they know it or not, helping them cultivate the character traits that will help them be successful long after they stop playing the game.
Dan Hickey is the Director of Athletics of The Stony Brook School
